I am a member of the Career Collective, a group of resume writers and career coaches. Each month, all members discuss a topic, and this month’s topic is what to do when you are very discouraged in your job search. Please follow our tweets on Twitter #careercollective and see the links to the other articles at the bottom of this post.
You have:
- Revised your resume a thousand times, minimum.
- Spent months online, applying for thousands of jobs.
- Dragged yourself to hundreds of networking meetings. Or at least 5.
The result: Nada. Nothing. No new job. Waste of time and energy.
Well, maybe, or maybe NOT!
Beware the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
If you’ve found yourself saying, when yet another networking meeting (or application or phone call) seemed to fail, “See! I knew that wouldn’t work,” you may be reaping the failure you expect.
Psychologists call this the “Self-Fulfilling Prophecy” and it’s an easy trap to fall into! You get the bad result you expect to get, because you expect to get that bad result. You cause it by expecting it – certainly not 100% of the time, but too often.
Being so discouraged could be making it more difficult for you to succeed. At the very least, feeling discouraged will negatively impact what you are doing, and how well you present yourself at a networking event, in an interview, or even on a phone call.
So, Now What?
My very strong recommendation: Get help. Even the Lone Ranger had Tonto! Two (or more) heads really are often better than one!
Where to find help:
- In a good book. “What Color Is Your Parachute?” is a perennial best seller for good reason. If you’re not sure what you want to do, this book will help you figure that out, and it’s very hard to find a job when you don’t know what you are looking for.
Note: Check the copyright date of the book. Job hunting has changed so much in the last couple of years that a book written before 2008/2009 could well be out of date already.
- Online. We’re almost drowning in information about job search, resumes, cover letters, interviews, etc. Use LinkedIn, Facebook, even Twitter to identify the people who seem to know what they’re talking about (like the people in the Career Collective).
- Off-line. Find a job search support group in a local church/synagog/temple/mosque/etc., your city hall, your public library, the local Starbucks or Panera, etc.
- School Career Center. If you’ve attended or graduated from college or vocational training, check to see if they provide career support for their “alums,” and don’t assume that graduating is a requirement!
- CareerOneStop Centers. In the US, every state has a bunch of these CareerOneStops. It’s where you registered for unemployment compensation. They have counselors and sometimes classes. They may also have job search support groups.
Also a good idea to:
- Verify your online persona: Google your name to see what you find. You might be surprised at what could be sabotaging your job search.
- Volunteer. Good for your spirits, good for your favorite cause or political candidate, good networking, and good for filling in experience (or calendar) gaps in your resume.
- Consider other options: Maybe this is the right time to start your own business, even if it’s “just” a one-person consulting business or a pizza delivery business. Starting and running your own business is a very educational experience! This could be “the start of something big” or keep the mortgage up to date. It won’t be easy, but it will be very interesting!
- Take a break: Go to a movie, go to the library, take a bike (or sled) ride. Get OUT of your home, or, at least, away from your computer.
- Pretend. And, last but not least, as one of my most dynamic and successful former bosses used to say, “Don’t let them see you sweat, Susan. Fake it until you make it!” Works for a job search, too.
Remember: You WILL survive this. You WILL have another job. Seriously!
Check my “Beating the Job Search Blues” and “Feeling Like a Job Search Failure” articles for more ideas, and add your suggestions in the Comments below.
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Career Collective, February, 2010, Topic: What do you do when you’re really, really, really discouraged about your unsuccessful job search? How do you overcome the negative aspects of job search?
How did members of the Career Collective respond? Follow us on Twitter with our hashtag #careercollective, and read these posts:
- @MartinBuckland, Job Search Made Positive
- @GayleHoward, Job Search: When It All Turns Sour
- @chandlee, Strategy for Getting “Unstuck” and Feeling Better: Watch Lemonade
- @heathermundell, Help for the Job Search Blues
- @heatherhuhman, 10 Ways to Turn You Job Search Frown Upside-Down
- @KCCareerCoach, You Can Beat the Job Search Blues: 5 + 3 Tips to Get Re-Energized
- @WalterAkana, Light at the End of the Tunnel
- @resumeservice, Don’t Sweat the Job Search
- @careersherpa, Mind Over Matter: Moving Your Stalled Search Forward
- @WorkWithIllness, Finding Opportunity in Quicksand
- @KatCareerGal, Job-Hunting in a Weak Job Market: 5 Strategies for Staying Upbeat (and Improving Your Chances of Success)
- @ErinKennedyCPRW, Dancing in the Rain–Kicking the Job Search Blues
- @keppie_careers, What do do when you are discouraged with your job search
- @DawnBugni, It’s the little things
- @ValueIntoWords, Restoring Your Joy in Job Search
- @jobhuntorg, Just SO VERY Discouraged
- @barbarasafani Making Job Search Fun (Yeah, That’s Right!)
- @GLHoffman, How to Overcome the Job Search Negativity
- @ExpatCoachMegan, Dealing With Job Search Stress: Getting to the Source of the Problem
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Great mix of off- and online suggestions, Susan! And great points about the varied positive benefits of volunteering. It can be such a win-win.
[...] @jobhuntorg, Just SO VERY Discouraged [...]
[...] Rosalind Joffe @WorkWithIllness Finding Opportunity in Quicksand Susan Joyce @jobhuntorg Just SO VERY Discouraged… Hannah Morgan @careersherpa Mind Over Matter: Moving Your Stalled Search Forward Erin Kennedy [...]
[...] @jobhuntorg, Just SO VERY Discouraged [...]
Susan:
I agree with “Fake it ’til you make it”! All of your suggestions require taking ACTION. Being sedentary won’t get you very far! I like the references to other similar posts for emotional help too!
[...] @jobhuntorg, Just SO VERY Discouraged [...]
Susan -
I think pointing out the “self-fulfilling prophecy” is such an important point. Many do not realize how attitude and approach impact their job search results. What a great list of ways to get over the “hump” in job search. Thanks – I’m so glad you are part of the Career Collective!
Even the Lone Ranger had Tonto! Very true! Reaching out for help often is counterintuitive for those of us used to ‘going it alone.’ But most of us have experienced cataclysmic events in ourselves that have pushed us to the ‘get-help’ door, and in doing so, we are reminded the VALUE of others.
Your ideas for surmounting the discomforts, obstacles and major challenges of job search are keen. I recommend job seekers start with just one bulleted suggestion in your list, and they’ll begin feeling renewed traction in their search.
Long-term job search and discouragement can be overcome and not only can job seekers survive, they can thrive!
The advice you have provided, combined with a wonderful sense of humour, is sure to relieve any discouragement.
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[...] @jobhuntorg, Just SO VERY Discouraged [...]