[This article originally appeared in the February 13, 2003, issue of the Online Job Search Guide, Job-Hunt's free twice-a-month e-mailed newsletter.]

It's easy to get discouraged after working at a job search for a length of time with no apparent success. Job search success will come, but it never seems to come soon enough. Here are some tips to help you keep your spirits up:

1. Recognize that losing a job is something that will happen to everyone eventually (more than once, too!).
   
   You're not "bad" or "incompetent" because you are unemployed, although if you've been unemployed for several months, you may think that you are. Consider that you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
   
   See what you can learn from it (pay more attention to office politics or to the signs that the company was headed for financial difficulties, etc.), and move on.
   
   [If the job loss was a big surprise, you may need to go through a period of mourning. Then, if you are angry, dump the anger so it doesn't sabotage your job search. It's been highly recommended to write it all down. Spill out the anger and the frustration and the injustices in writing. You don't need to do anything with what you've written; you just unburden yourself of the anger by expressing it harmlessly. There's research that shows it helps you to move on with your life.]
   
   
2. Recognize that it IS a tough job market right now.
   
   Being unemployed for several months is not "proof" that you are stupid or unemployable. It IS a very tough job market, and many people who will be fabulously successful in the future are unemployed right now. Some things are beyond our control, and the job market is one of those things.
   
   
3. Don't spend a lot of time trying to "fix" what is "wrong" with you.
   
   This isn't the time to tear yourself apart trying to change into something you aren't. You can't go from introvert to extrovert, or vice versa, if that's not who you really are. Chances are VERY slim that you are really as imperfect as you feel right now, anyway.
   
   
4. Don't obsess about the bad job market news you hear or read.
   
   People seem to feel obligated to let you know "how bad it is out there." Don't listen! Many of the horror stories are NOT true, and even if they are true, the person or people involved are probably quite different from you
   
   Focus on positive things right now, not negative. This is not "avoiding reality." This is staying upbeat and positive so you can recognize (and pounce on) the opportunities coming to you.
   
   
5. Get away from your computer (AFTER you've finished reading this article, of course).
   
   Limit the amount of time you spend working the job sites and e-mail. It may give you the feeling that you're accomplishing something, but, for those of us who are a bit shy or just discouraged, it's also a way to hide from making the real (human) connections that will be more helpful. Being comfortable with the technology of an online job search is critical, but an effective job search is more than just using the technology.
   
   
6. Start making phone calls to people who can help you.
   
   For many of us, this is the hardest thing to do - to ask for help. UGH! Don't be whiny or downbeat (not the time for a long "poor abused me" monolog). After the preliminary pleasantries, state your purpose in calling and your job objective. Then, ask for advice and/or for the name of someone who could help you find that job.
   
   Many people really enjoy the opportunity to help because they've been through it themselves. And, next time, you may be the right contact for the people who are helping you now. It's that scary word, "networking " but, with a little practice, you can do it. And, bottom line, you must network to that new job.
   
   
7. Give yourself a break.
   
   Finding a job IS a full-time job, but don't work yourself to a frazzle or exclude time to relax. You'll be more effective if you take time to "recharge your batteries" with a little relaxation every day. Borrow a good mystery novel or a video from your local library, have lunch with friends, go to a movie, whatever works for you. Have a REAL life in addition to your job search.

For more information

• Depression Clouds Everything - Jason Alba really struck a nerve with this posting on his excellent JibberJobber blog. If you believe that you are alone in feeling like a failure, read the comments readers have added to Jason's posting, too.
• Don't Make Them Think (Be Easy to Hire) - Tips to help move your job search forward.
• Tapping the Hidden Job Market - Strategies for pushing out to employers and for pulling employers back to you.
  

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About the author...

Online job search expert Susan P. Joyce has been observing the online job search world and teaching online job search skills since 1995. Susan is a two-time layoff "graduate" who has worked in human resources at Harvard University and in a compensation consulting firm. In 1998, her company, NETability, Inc. purchased Job-Hunt.org, and Susan has been editor and publisher of Job-Hunt since then. Follow Susan on Twitter at @jobhuntorg.

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